Are people with BPD faithful?
We're loyal partners and friends
Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
- Instability in Relationships. ...
- Extreme Emotional Swings. ...
- Explosive Feelings of Anger. ...
- Self-Harm. ...
- Lingering Feelings of Emptiness or Worthlessness. ...
- Feeling Out of Touch With Reality.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.
BPD Features and Cheating
Research has yet to show a direct connection between BPD and an increased likelihood of cheating. Rather, a hallmark feature of borderline personality—impulsive behavior—sometimes manifests as sexual preoccupation, early sexual exposure, casual sexual relationships, and promiscuity.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
- Seek out information. ...
- Get help. ...
- Practice healthy communication. ...
- Ask open-ended questions. ...
- Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
- Offer support. ...
- Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
- Take threats seriously.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
People with BPD represent approximately 6 percent of the population and may be men or women. They can be the life of the party and appear to be very popular and attractive. Their words can be extremely seductive, soothing, and exciting, alternating with extreme criticism, anger, and rage.
BPD patients often have a history of childhood trauma. Often, this trauma includes physical abuse, extreme stress, and/or abandonment. However, the abuse trauma tends to be outside the family unit. Many people with borderline personality disorder report such traumatic life events.
Do borderlines love?
People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love. Unstable emotions often lead to unstable relationships, while black-and-white thinking may make a person with BPD push people away when there is evidence their partner has flaws.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.
Offer emotional support.
Someone with BPD may feel very isolated because of their past. Offer your partner understanding and patience. It is possible for them to learn and have better behaviors.
People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
These results suggest that patients with BPD report becoming more accepting and forgiving over time. Additionally, recovery status is significantly associated with increasing time in these states.
- Altered Schedule. If working late is suddenly a new normal even though your partner's job doesn't really require it, they may not be telling the truth about where they are.
- Uncomfortable Friends. The friends of the cheating partner usually know about it before you do. ...
- Inconsistent Expenses. ...
- False Accusations of Cheating.
These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness.
People who suffer from BPD show erratic mood-swings and find it difficult to trust and understand the motives of others. As a result, they suffer from fraught personal relationships with friends, colleagues and partners.
- Offer Ongoing Support. ...
- Validate Their Emotions. ...
- Learn More About BPD. ...
- Communicate That You Want to Understand Their Experience. ...
- Support & Help Them Manage Their Treatment Plan. ...
- Stay Calm & Consistent. ...
- Find Ways to Decrease Your Own Reactivity. ...
- Learn About Their Triggers.
How do people with BPD treat their partners?
Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
Even though it can be challenging, it is possible for people with borderline personality disorder to lead healthy lives and have stable relationships with their partners.
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Here's what our community had to say.
- Open Communication. ...
- Understanding. ...
- Patience. ...
- Knowledge. ...
- Validation. ...
- Boundaries. ...
- Self-Care. ...
- Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation.
People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.
Manipulative. Untreatable. Clingy. This is how people (even mental health professionals) describe those who live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).